Getting your Trinity Audio player ready...

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. It’s a time to honor victims and survivors who were mentally and physically abused by their partners. Lashawnda Shiree Love is a survivor of domestic violence. Love was born in Bainbridge, and has a career, a husband, and three children. On October 8, Love was a guest speaker on a Facebook Live video called “Breaking the Silence” hosted by Jaye Jones, entrepreneur of Queens on a Journey to Success (QJS). QJS empowers women survivors of incarceration, domestic violence, and sexual assault.

On the live show, Love talked about her grim past and how she’s willing to share it with others. From 2011 to 2012, Love had an affair with a married man while she was also married. Eventually, both decided to divorce their spouses and get married to each other. Love heard rumors that the man was abusive to another young lady he was married to previously, but Love admitted that

“He was fine, and he was nice. So, I didn’t get any of the vibes that he was abusive because he was really kind.” After Love was married, she stated everything was beautiful,

“Everything was beautiful to me because I was in a previous marriage, and I was really depressed, overweight, and sad. I just wasn’t happy. So, he made me feel happy. Everything to me was blissful; I just had the best time of my life.” She continued, “I thought he was the best person because he was a pastor, but when I got pregnant things kind of shifted.”

Love explains that constant arguments were happening in the relationship, and the tension escalated when she chose to not attend family events due to certain situations. This decision marked the beginning of the abuse. The incidents typically occurred when her two sons from her previous marriage were away for the weekend with their father. When her sons returned, they noticed signs of violence in the home, like patched-up holes in the walls and regular glass windows replaced with fiberglass so the windows wouldn’t shatter explosively.

From 2013 to 2018, Love didn’t disclose any information about her abuse to anyone because she stated, “He was a pastor. He was a prophet, and I didn’t want him to be embarrassed nor did I want people to say ‘That’s what you get. We were just waiting for him to beat her up,’ and I don’t want people to feel joy out of knowing I’m going through this.”

In 2018, Love experienced a nervous breakdown when the man began an affair with someone close to her. This betrayal worsened the abuse, as the individual shared personal details about Love that she hadn’t disclosed to him. “She revealed things I had kept private, which triggered even more violent behavior from him.” Eventually, the man left Love for this person.

In 2018, after enduring ongoing abuse, Love confided in her family and declared she would not return to the man, but eventually, she did. After his apology, they reconciled, but in 2019, the situation escalated when he attempted to take her life.

A day before Thanksgiving in 2019, Love received a phone call informing her that the man had purchased a trailer with his girlfriend. Initially doubtful, she later confirmed it by searching online and uncovering two and a half years of location history that revealed the man had been lying about where he had been. This discovery led Love to realize just how little she truly knew about him. “I didn’t know anything about him. He’s from Florida, and I’m from Bainbridge. It seemed like during our courtship, he was getting to know me, but in reality, he was gathering information on me,” she reflected. “He never shared much about himself, and if he did, he was vague and never fully honest. For instance, he would say, ‘I’m going to the store’, but omit that the store was in Jacksonville.” Despite this, Love still didn’t leave.

Later, Love took him for throat surgery. During this period, Love became more suspicious of his actions. While they were filming a Facebook Live video called “Transformation Tuesday,” she installed a tracking app on his phone–the only time she had access to it. When she tried to access his information while he was in surgery, she discovered he had changed his password. Soon after, when they returned home, the police arrived with paperwork accusing Love of harassment and stalking, based on claims made by the man’s girlfriend, which intensified their conflict. It was during this time that the abuse nearly ended her life.

At the beginning of May 2020, Love had a dream that left her confused about its meaning. It was not until later that month, on May 24, when she unexpectedly received divorce papers in the mail. Love stated the message from God became clear. She said God instructed her to take the dream to a woman she knew who didn’t know anything about her situation. The woman, unaware of Love’s situation, delivered a powerful message: “If you go back this time, you’re going to die.” That warning ended Love’s relationship with the man, though she hadn’t realized that he had already filed for divorce earlier in the month. After receiving the paperwork, Love stopped speaking to the man, and for the next two years, they did not exchange words. Reflecting on that time, she shared, “It took two years to have words whenever we were in each other’s presence. I was still hurt. I was still upset. I couldn’t form anything into words.” Following the divorce, Love briefly dated but quickly shifted her focus to her children. She often spoke to the Lord about the abuse she endured and carried guilt for a long time. “I felt guilty because I believed this was what I deserved for what I did. I stayed as long as I did because I thought it was my punishment for taking another woman’s husband,” she said. But she stated God revealed to her that, despite her mistakes, “He didn’t have the right to abuse me the way that he did.” She said God sent her a husband, David Hassan Habbi Love, to find her, and today she is happy and whole.

Love wants to inform women and men before they are in a relationship “to know the red flags when you see them. Find safe people that you can trust. I told my family, but they weren’t safe people because they used it against me. You need a safe person who’s not going to judge you, and if you’ve never been in this situation before then you can’t judge it.”