A woman, buying her turkey for Thanksgiving, was looking at the frozen turkeys and asked a nearby store employee, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”

“No ma’am,” the young man replied. “They’re dead.”

Happy Thanksgiving to you all. I’m thankful for and appreciate so many of you who let me know how much you enjoy my column. I hope I can help your feelings on Wednesdays and am thankful for the Post-Searchlight for this opportunity.

Every day is a great day to be thankful. I asked Sunday who might want to express their “thanks” and many did. Family, friends, church, health, harvest, and this country were a few of the mentions. I agree.

I’m thankful for traffic lights. They keep us safe and orderly, but I’m most thankful for them when they change to green as I approach them. Especially when I’m in a hurry, which is quite often.

This may sound sort of offbeat, but I’m thankful for the stores that keep their shopping carts in good shape. I don’t like those “rattle-traps” that I get sometimes; nor the liberal or conservative ones. You know, those that pull awfully hard to the right or left.

A man buys a parrot for a companion but it keeps insulting him. He finally gets tired of the parrot and puts it in the freezer. Then, he feels remorse and takes it out. The parrot is shivering and apologizes to his owner. He stammers. “I-I-I’m s-s-sorry for b-b-being r-r-rude, b-b-but wh-wh-what did the t-t-turkey d-d-do?”

I’m thankful for a car that cranks and tires that are not flat.

I’m thankful for the squirrels in my backyard. (The Bible says “Be thankful in all things.”) However, I find it hard to be thankful that they have eaten my rutabagas that I planted and wrote about last week. Donna Sue said put some sort of spice or pepper around the flowers or plants to ward them off, but I think they liked the kind of seasoning I put on the rutabagas!

Speaking of Donna Sue. Now there is a great reason to be thankful. She is as hardworking and goes above and beyond the call of duty (of being a wife) as anyone I know. Praise God from whom all blessings flow.

Question. “Why did the cranberries turn red?” Answer. “They saw the turkey dressing.”

I saw the thanksgiving commercial with the guy dressed as a pilgrim. First of all, he looked goofy. Then, he lamented the fact that he waited all year for stove-top stuffing and he was mad and started shaking when he did not get it.

I’m thankful that I will eat a Thanksgiving dinner this Thursday and stove-top stuffing will not even be close to our house. We will have ole-timey fat-hen dressing. Without that, there is no Thanksgiving dinner.

I’m very thankful that the dinner on Thursday will be at the house of my daddy and mother, who are still living; how blessed my brother, sister and I are. We’ll have nephews, nieces, and just about all the family. One word-“thankful.”

I’ll miss my daughter and her family. They live in snow-bound Syracuse, NY. Even though I won’t see them over the holiday, I love them and are very thankful for them. Be careful in the snow.

I’m very thankful for computers and, by the way, what did the turkey say to the computer? “Google, google, google.”

No column about thanksgiving is complete without a most thankful word to God. I am thankful for the love of God that comes our way. Nothing can take it away or replace it. Blessings to you all.